There came a man from Kentucky,
who believed the Reds were unlucky.
So he called a show,
and caused quite a row,
and plead that they be less sucky.
There's no need to cry to your madres,
the Redlegs now play the Padres.
They'll all cross the plate,
and then win 3 straight,
because of their well-trained cadres.
So if you'd like to call him baby,
or you'd like to tell him maybe,
buy him some flowers,
and he'll talk for hours,
'bout Leake, Arroyo, and Bailey.
He'll talk about Hamilton's hitting,
and if Heisey or Derrick is sitting.
They'll quote Lou Brown,
to cheer up your frown,
and won't say Homer is quitting.
You can hear him blab on forever,
while he sat there and thought he was clever.
He'll say "so" and "umm,"
and sound like a bum,