Part four of a six-part series.
Here are the projected rotations and starting nine for every NL West team, as described by Google's autocomplete. If you missed the first three entries in the series, you can find them all in this handy StoryStream™.
Reminders:
![]()
Must Reads ![]()
- These are from the drop-down menu in Firefox's browser search. I entered a player's name, followed by one letter from A to Z, and the result included here appeared on the drop-down menu.
- These are not the first results. Otherwise they would all be "stats", "girlfriend", or "shirtless." These are the most interesting or amusing results. In some cases, interesting or amusing could not be found. The Rockies, for example, are the dullest autocomplete team in the universe. If I had started with them, I would have given up the entire series. And I would have used that time to, I don't know, write better articles, read a book, or finish Final Fantasy IX, or spend time with people I care about, or ...
- Every baseball player's name autocompletes to "(baseball player) girlfriend" and "(baseball player) wife." Hunter Pence is the only one to autocomplete to "(baseball player) extremely hot girlfriend." Make of that what you will. It's probably his handlers googling to make sure everything's going according to plan.
- Google has all of our brains mapped and on file somewhere, so these are probably tailored specifically to me. I cleared my cookies first, but you never know.
- A lot of these results have nothing to do with the actual baseball players, but the string of words together is amusing.
To the charts!
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Diego Padres
Arizona Diamondbacks
Colorado Rockies
San Francisco Giants
Worth actually googling: Troy Tulowitzki hits ball twice, Juan Uribe is emo, and A.J. Ellis delivers a baby.
Not worth googling: Buster Posey ethnicity. Boy, you're never going to guess this, but ...
Please don't google: Tim Lincecum/Barry Zito fanfic. It's what you fear, what you expect. And the sequel has problems in the last half with a lot of unresolved plot points, and there are a bunch of rehashed descriptions in the lovemaking scenes. Don't even get me started on the third one.
Of note: This project led me to discover that a drummer I used to jam with is now in The Donnas. It's a small world when you use computers to connect to a world-wide web!